The past few nights I’ve tossed and turned.
Knowing once the morning comes I will be released from the torment of the night.
Although, the body will complain, the back will increase its pain and my eyes
Will show obvious shadow for plain sight, I will be released when the sun comes.
Why am I having trouble sleeping you might ask? The answer is simple, but yet completely unspeakable. It’s one of those disclosures left to my discretion and
I don’t feel you really need to know, because for starters, it’s irrelevant to this discussion. But you will see that once I bring to light the following.
I’ve been stressing about a number of things hoping that with thought and brainstorming I can bring back the full essence of the problem. Except now, the problem has morphed several times since it was first born and now the bastard bears many heads. For many reasons the mutation does not surprise me. It seems to happen each time I decide to ignore something that is happening. The voice has been clear for many days now and the angel speaks my name crisp as a sunny day. But I’ve been choosing not to listen until recently.
I am ready to let it go and I’m ready to stop worrying about it, thinking about it, tossing and turning about it. I’m ready to get over it. It’s not going to happen, then so bet it. It was not mean to happen to begin with. I decided with all my strength to ignore the signs and let it all just occupy way too much space in my head.
Here is the deal, with the idiocy that I may actually be able to fix it by just not doing anything about it and letting things run its course, I allowed it to get worse. And therefore, allowed the mutation that has now evolved into all the things that it’s evolved into. Making the initial problem all that much less important then all the chaos it has created in its path all the further destruction.
I must Love, Trust and Forgive. I love and approve of myself. I trust that the universe is taking care of me and releasing me of any more pain and suffering. And I forgive myself for all the guilt, the feelings of undeserving, the low vibrations I’ve been emitting with my negative thought pattern and I allow the universe to lull me to sleep.
I am no longer going to allow this one thing to get in my way and cause me all the unhappiness and negativity it has. It has served its purpose and it is obvious that the time has come for me to depart. I have set a date for my exit and release my self from the guilt of knowing that this has not been working for some time. I also release the powerlessness point from which I’ve been operating and take full control and hold it in my grasp with both hands.
Angels in your hands I put all the other stuff that this issue has created or intensified. Help me release the pain, the heartache, the dissatisfaction, the apathy, the stuckness, the self loathing and self beatings. Give my body the healing I need and my spirit the soothing touch it deserves. Show me with your infinite love the way I should love and request love for and from others. Let me feel in the bowels of my mind the peace and solace that I need. And allow my soul to forgive, to contrite, to release and to be at peace right along with my mind and my heart.
Angels for all you do, I will never be able to repay you. For all you heal I will never be able to thank you. And for all the love you give me I will never be able to reciprocate you. But know that when I tell you that I am grateful it is coming from within me with all the fibers of my being, in all the strands of my existence, with all the strength of my character. I love you and I thank the Highest Source for giving me to you as your child. For that and for all you do I am grateful!
Knowing once the morning comes I will be released from the torment of the night.
Although, the body will complain, the back will increase its pain and my eyes
Will show obvious shadow for plain sight, I will be released when the sun comes.
Why am I having trouble sleeping you might ask? The answer is simple, but yet completely unspeakable. It’s one of those disclosures left to my discretion and
I don’t feel you really need to know, because for starters, it’s irrelevant to this discussion. But you will see that once I bring to light the following.
I’ve been stressing about a number of things hoping that with thought and brainstorming I can bring back the full essence of the problem. Except now, the problem has morphed several times since it was first born and now the bastard bears many heads. For many reasons the mutation does not surprise me. It seems to happen each time I decide to ignore something that is happening. The voice has been clear for many days now and the angel speaks my name crisp as a sunny day. But I’ve been choosing not to listen until recently.
I am ready to let it go and I’m ready to stop worrying about it, thinking about it, tossing and turning about it. I’m ready to get over it. It’s not going to happen, then so bet it. It was not mean to happen to begin with. I decided with all my strength to ignore the signs and let it all just occupy way too much space in my head.
Here is the deal, with the idiocy that I may actually be able to fix it by just not doing anything about it and letting things run its course, I allowed it to get worse. And therefore, allowed the mutation that has now evolved into all the things that it’s evolved into. Making the initial problem all that much less important then all the chaos it has created in its path all the further destruction.
I must Love, Trust and Forgive. I love and approve of myself. I trust that the universe is taking care of me and releasing me of any more pain and suffering. And I forgive myself for all the guilt, the feelings of undeserving, the low vibrations I’ve been emitting with my negative thought pattern and I allow the universe to lull me to sleep.
I am no longer going to allow this one thing to get in my way and cause me all the unhappiness and negativity it has. It has served its purpose and it is obvious that the time has come for me to depart. I have set a date for my exit and release my self from the guilt of knowing that this has not been working for some time. I also release the powerlessness point from which I’ve been operating and take full control and hold it in my grasp with both hands.
Angels in your hands I put all the other stuff that this issue has created or intensified. Help me release the pain, the heartache, the dissatisfaction, the apathy, the stuckness, the self loathing and self beatings. Give my body the healing I need and my spirit the soothing touch it deserves. Show me with your infinite love the way I should love and request love for and from others. Let me feel in the bowels of my mind the peace and solace that I need. And allow my soul to forgive, to contrite, to release and to be at peace right along with my mind and my heart.
Angels for all you do, I will never be able to repay you. For all you heal I will never be able to thank you. And for all the love you give me I will never be able to reciprocate you. But know that when I tell you that I am grateful it is coming from within me with all the fibers of my being, in all the strands of my existence, with all the strength of my character. I love you and I thank the Highest Source for giving me to you as your child. For that and for all you do I am grateful!
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