clarify

Everyone that reads my blog below wants to know what it is that has made me so upset. Well, its simple. I took this part time job with the intention of making some extra money and getting some extra knowledge. I got the money but at a very high cost.
The last time I worked at a company where everyone was Latin was about 10 years ago when I first arrived in Los Angeles. And I was ok because I worked with all my boy cousins. My cousin Noe and Tony kept me safe and always looked after me. But now I don't have Noe, who is more of the protector type and I am more vulnerable apparently then I was willing to admit.
I am at a point where I don't know what to do anymore. I am angry there is not much I can do without harming someone else if I do. I finally had it on Sunday of last week when the Group Lead told me I couldn't do something because I was a woman. And I should let the dummy that was with me handle it because he was a man. I have never been so insulted in my life.
I have known for a while that Mexicans like to speak with innuendo. They say one thing but mean another. They speak words that really are only referencing sex or male body parts or both. Even when I think they are talking about food, they are really talking about sex and penises. I have never despised a cock more then I do at this point in time. What I didn't realize was that so many things in Spanish can be socialized with a penis. For crying out loud, how the fuck old are we when people are so fascinated by sex and need to speak about it at every turn?
Don't get me wrong, I love sex, I enjoy it with my partner and I like to have it often. But is it really necessary to be talking about jalapenos and really mean a penis' size shape and capacity? Of course not! At least not for me anyway.
Well, it's gotten to the point that my gayness is another complete fascination in itself. And I didn't realize that since I'm so outgoing and completely harmless in the eyes of my female coworkers, my male coworkers see me as some form of wanna be Casanova. First of all, I do not shit where I eat. I already did that once and trust me when I tell you I will never do that to myself again. That was the worse experience of my life and I paid for it dearly.
Now, I am stuck in a place where the men think that I am always trying to get with all the girls because, fuck, I'm a lesbian and isn't that what all lesbians do, want to fuck all the girls they come across? Of course it is, so why deny it right? You don't even begin to understand how repulsed I am by these men and how annoyed I am to even be in the same fuken room with them, that I try to go to lunch at least half an hour before I know they are going to be there.
That is why I said that I thought if I didn't pay it any mind it would go away. The men would stop talking about me and be quiet once I enter the room. Or they would stop saying their stupid little comments around me and laughing hoping I will join in. Don't they realize how deeply offended I am and how much I dislike being around them? Why do they insist on asking me if I'm ok or am I mad, or did one of my so many girlfriends not talk to me and is that why I am upset? But I think what gets me the most is the fact that they find each other sooo fuken amusing. When really I could just bash them over the head with something extremely heavy.
I told my friend that got me the job and he didn't really offer me any solutions. So I told him that before something just went absolutely wrong I was going to quit. I have set the date for 11/15 and I am looking forward to it.
The other reason why I chose that date is because the bastards wont let me take my Thanksgiving vacations like I had informed them. Instead they are saying that this is retail and they need me the most at this time. Well fuck them and the horse they rode in on. I have not seen mom in months and my sibs in a couple of years. My family is more important to me then some other motherfukers bottom line. But just the fact that I am upset about that other thing makes me even angrier about this. So be it. It has served its purpose. I thought maybe I would have an opportunity to grow and learn a thing or two but I realized it is not meant to be. I am going to cut my losses and walk away before anything else happens.
I thank the Higher Source and my angels for keeping me safe and sane. Well, as sane as I can be for what I have thus far....